Oh Danny Boy! Your Finger is so Beautiful!
In shocking news, the Cincinnati Reds designated closer Danny Graves for assignment. Danny got mad at the Cincinnati fans Sunday for inexplicably booing him, and he decided that he wanted to show them which of his fingers was the longest. It’s amazing that the crowd was down on Graves, who had just pitched a scintillating third of an inning, giving up five runs on four hits in a 9-2 loss to Cleveland. His May ERA was a nice, round 11.00. Good luck finding a new job Danny, and I am sincerely sorry that the fans booed you after your fantastic month of pitching. I love you. Please marry me.