I Wish I Wore Carpenter's Pants
Chris Carpenter is pitching tonight. I’m too lazy to put his picture up again (see “My Attempt at Predicting the Rest of the Season” below for his photo). Okay, so anyway, in his last seven starts, he’s given up a TOTAL of three runs in 59 2/3 innings. He’s walked nine men in those seven starts, given up 30 hits, and struck out 57. In none of those starts has he gone less than 7 2/3 innings. His season ERA is now 2.26. As you know, Liners, Sliders and Scoops does not recognize wins and losses as official statistics, but if you do, he’s 14-4. Can you say Cy Young?

Oh and on a related note, I traded Dontrelle Willis for Randy Johnson in one of my fantasy leagues just at the right time. In just THREE STARTS since I traded Dontrelle, he’s given up 23 runs. THREE STARTS! Randy’s finally finding himself. Remember, it’s always good to sell high, before the guy goes into his slump. Anybody who thought Dontrelle Willis was going to go the entire season with an ERA under 2.00 has an IQ under 2.00.


I still like Dontrelle's herkity-jerkity pitching motion.

Those Darn Sox Fans
"Did they win?" - THE FIRST THING my co-worker [who told me to delete his name], a Red Sox fan, said after I told him about the Carl Crawford line drive that hit Matt Clement in the head and sent him to the hospital. Not, "How was the CT Scan,?" or "Is he okay?" "DID THEY WIN?!!"

Here's a quote from me: "Thank goodness Clement is alright. Come back soon Matt."


Can you imagine if they used aluminum bats in the Majors? I don't even want to think about it.

Is Sheffield Scared of Being Traded?
When Gary Sheffield played for Milwaukee, he purposely tanked ground balls so they would trade him. He admitted this! Eventually, he got his wish.

A few weeks back, Sheffield went on WFAN's Mike and the Mad Dog show and basically said that he is only playing baseball because he is on the Yankees, and that if he is traded, the new team will not get his fullest effort. So the last few days, I have put one and one together, and am starting to think that in these few days leading up to the July 31 trading deadline, Sheff is giving it less than his best.

I could be wrong, but Sheffield opened this line of cross examination himself years ago when he admitted to not bending down all the way for all those grounders in Milwaukee. I've been watching Yankee games, and seen Sheffield swing at more first pitches the last five or six games than ever before. Not only that, but he's waving at pitches, like throwing his bat out to tap a low-and-outside pitch and popping it up uselessly to center field, and not hustling even more than his usual non-hustling style of running.

In five games since July 20, he's for 3-for-25 with four strikeouts, after going 20-for-53 (.377) the first 15 games in July with seven homers, 20 RBI and just three Ks. This is hardly proof that Sheffield has been intentionally screwing up at the plate, but I'm just saying the idea of it - no doubt aided by the fact that he has gone on the record admitting to selfishly not trying - has popped into my head more than a few times in the last week.

To be a "professional" and have the kind of reputation that even makes someone THINK that sort of thing is inexcusable. Let's see how Sheffield plays once the trading deadline passes and he's still a Yankee.

It won't prove anything, but it sure will make me ask more questions.

Kenny, Smile For the Camera
I've been wondering, do you think there are any pictures from Kenny Rogers' wedding? I mean, did he make the cameraman not go in the limo with him and his new wife? When they got to the reception, did he allow photos to be snapped? Hmm.










As you can see, I've blurred the picture out so Kenny doesn't get angry with me. I might write about him for a real publication some day, and I don't want him to remember and forcibly take my pencil out of my pocket protector.

The Truth About Stuart Scott's Eye
While vacationing last week on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, several 18-25 year-old sports fans, including myself, wondered aloud about what happened to ESPN anchor Stuart Scott's eye. Everybody seems to remember a time when the eye was operating perfectly (see photo to the left), but sometime a few years back, it started to look different. It started looking like a lazy eye. Then, it started looking like the ultimate lazy eye. I felt bad for him, but didn't know how to react. I've never been a big fan of Stuart, what with his thinking he's bigger than the sports he yaps about and all, but I wouldn't wish a weird-looking eye on anybody (see photo below). I have had this conversation dozens of other times over the years. It really became a prominent topic of discussion during the first season of "Dream Job," the reality TV series that made one lucky contestant an ESPN Sportscenter anchor.

Anyway, I vowed at dinner that night in North Carolina that after eating, I would Google "What's up with Stuart Scott's eye?" I did. And guess what? There IS an explanation. This is from Wikipedia, the free, online encyclopedia, under the Stuart Scott entry...

"Stuart Scott suffered an accident on April 3, 2002, in the New York Jets training camp in Long Island while reporting for ESPN. A machine that throws footballs for receivers to practice hit him in the left eye with a football, and Scott had to undergo surgery of the cornea [3]."














I guess we Northeasterners can blame yet another thing on the New York Jets. (look closely, this is post-accident).

Alex, You Are My White Knight
This blog will never be about fashion, but did anyone else catch Alex Rodriguez's squeaky white baseball spikes (even whiter than the ones pictured on the left) during the All-Star Game? Beth and I were watching the game at a bar by Columbia University, and could not help but laugh when we saw Mr. Rodriguez nancying around the field in his ghost-white footwear. After the game, he said he wore the white to honor two of his baseball heroes, Keith Hernandez and Gary Carter of 1986 Mets fame, both of whom always wore white shoes. So Alex Rodriguez follows in the fashion footsteps of Gary Carter? That's great. Next, he is going to start sporting the eyewear of (not so) legendary Reds third baseman Chris Sabo.










How A-Rod got his groove back. Carter and...Sabo?

All-Star Game Recap - Reader's Digest Version
The one thing that came out of last night's Major League Baseball All-Star Game is this: I want Brad Lidge and Mariano Rivera in my bullpen. Lidge struck out Melvin Mora, Mike Sweeney and Garrett Anderson on 11 pitches in his one inning of work, while Rivera needed just four pitches to strike out Morgan Ensberg to end the game. Is there any doubt in anybody's mind that these two guys - one young and one old - are the two best closers in baseball?

I cannot understand how Lidge has an ERA of more than 2.00. How has anyone ever gotten a hit off of him? Garrett Anderson, the man who has more hits than anybody else in the 21st Century, looked like he had never seen a slider in his life when he faced Lidge.

Ensberg couldn't handle Rivera's cutter inside, or the high fastball up and away. Some things never change. Hey Major League Batters, here's a news flash for you: Rivera only throws one pitch. Can't you figure out a way to hit it? The guy is still that good. I was writing about him on this blog long before it was a baseball-only blog for a reason. He's like good or something. As for Brad, if he stays away from Gagne-esque arm troubles, he could be the next Mo.

Why doesn't Jason Giambi ask for a new picture? I mean he's hitting better and everything. Jason, you are a reasonably handsome Italian-American man. Come on paisan! Go into a booth and snap a shot my brother. Every time I go to a Yankee game with my lovely and talented girlfriend Beth Carney, we chuckle at the absurdity of your photograph. I want to stop chuckling, and start cheering more for your tape-measure homers.

My Attempt at Predicting The Rest of The Season
I'm sorry that I haven't been filling your regular baseball fix. Oh who the hell am I kidding? I read the traffic numbers from this site. You're not reading. But for you two that might still read, I am going to try and let you know how the 2005 season is going to end.

NL East Champion: Atlanta (until someone proves they can beat them...)
NL Central Champ: St. Louis (the Cubs will hang around for the whole season though)
NL West Champ: San Diego (never thought I'd feel strongest about the Padres among all NL Division winners, but I do).
NL Wild Card: It's going to be a fight between the Cubs, Nationals and Phillies. I look at the pitching, and it's really really tough. But my choice is... the Cubs.
NL Champion: St. Louis (They are WAY too tough for this league. WAY too tough).

AL East Champion: Boston (the Yankees might not even get second. Okay, they will, but not by a landslide).
AL Central Champ: Chicago (don't for a second think that the Twins won't make it close at some point, but the White Sox have Garcia, Buehrle, Garland, El Duque and Contreras. I mean those are five starters).
AL West Champ: Do I have to say Anaheim? The only team that's not winning their division right now that I selected to win their division is the Braves. So no, I won't say Anaheim. I'll say OAKLAND. Ha ha!
AL Wild Card: It looks like a battle between the Yankees, Orioles, Indians, Angels, Blue Jays, Rangers, and Twins. Take the Orioles, Indians, Angels and Blue Jays out because they won't pitch well enough. The Rangers hit just enough to overcome their shaky pitching, but not enough to overcome the Yankees and Twins. Because of the Yankees' buying power, I'm going to go with New York. But I feel queasy about this one.
AL Champ: It's going to be the Red Sox again. They'll figure it out. Garland can't get Ortiz or Manny out in a big spot.

World Champ: Payback's a bitch, Boston. Cardinals in seven.





Carpenter and the Cards will get their revenge